I don’t know about you but, I do not lie on my dating site profile.

You know what, if you do tell little fibs on your profile, STOP right now, log on and edit that profile! There’s no point as your dates will find out the truth in the end anyway and I personally, really DO NOT LIKE IT when my dates turn out to be NOT as described!

Picture the scene, nice guy (they always are) who actually CALLS me to speak to me, yeah I know, shocking!  Asks where I’d like to meet and organises the date without any deliberation when I ask if he would take care of the arrangements.  Looking good so far.

You see, as an independent, 21st century woman, men often assume that I’m hard work, high maintenance or a ball-breaker, simply because I can take care of myself but the truth is, I still want to feel taken care of to a degree.

This does NOT mean I want a man to control everything, including me but, yes as an Alpha female I still desire old-fashioned romancing.

There is a world of difference between take over and take care of.

To me, this is extremely manly and is guaranteed to set those butterflies in my tummy all of a flutter!il_340x270.479565823_q96i

So, venue, date, time and activity (coffee and “I’ll get you the best chocolate cake around”) is arranged for me 🙂

He describes himself as stocky, yep the photos support his description and that he’s 5 foot 6 inches tall, hmm that’s OK, I’m 5’4″ so he has a couple of inches in his favour.

I arrive at the bar and see him seated at one of the outside tables, it’s a glorious sunny afternoon and I’m feeling pretty positive and…I think I look quite nice too.

Today, it’s a khaki safari shirt dress with my fabulous leopard print wedge sandals which are quite high but that’s OK because like I said, I’m not tall.  All in all, tres glam!

He rises to greet me and as I approach I realise that I’m standing taller than him! Ahhh, well these are VERY high heels and height isn’t everything is it, I spend the rest of the date with my sandals off “to enjoy the feel of the grass on my toes” I tell him.

It was a lovely date, he was engaging, funny, grounded and told the truth about the best and biggest piece of chocolate cake.  I had such a nice time that when he asked to see me again, I said yes!  OMG, shocked or what eh!!

2nd date:

For some reason I was not in the best mood and it was all to do with him  TEXTING me that he would be late about 40 minutes before the arranged time.  I was annoyed because this is a particular bugbear of mine.  WHY OH WHY do people TEXT to say they’re late?

NEWSFLASH: not everyone in the whole wide world walks around with their mobile phone glued to their ear!  Texting urgent information which is time-sensitive is like using a carrier pigeon for a 999 call.

In this instance, I had run around sorting childcare and for once was on schedule.  The text had arrived when I was in the shower so I didn’t hear it which is why, when I was sitting in my car and just happened to look at my phone before I set off, I finally saw the message!

Great! now I had to faff around for 40 minutes resenting the fact that I could have avoided the hurried shower, bolting my food down my throat, getting snappy with my son all because I was rushing to get ready to meet my date (with damp hair) on time!

Breathe, Stephanie, breathe!

So, I arrived at the pub which was again bathed in glorious sunshine and this time I had donned my flattest sandals to give my date as much height advantage as possible to retain that manly feel.

He walked to me, this time I was seated, but when I stood up to greet him…I was still TALLER than him!

So let me get this right, I’m 5  ‘4″ and he SAYS he’s 5’  6″ yet here I am, (couldn’t make myself any shorter if I tried unless I actually cut my feet off!)  looking down on his shiny, bald head whilst he is practically eye-level with my chest!

Double-bubble bonus view for him.

Desperately uninteresting view for me!

Tall woman and short man

Yeah, 5 foot 6 inches tall, my ass!  He’d told me a whacking, great big ‘porky-pie’*

And that was it, in a matter of seconds his fate was sealed, there would be NO 3rd date and date #2 was looking like it was going to be a lot shorter too (a bit like himself!)

The height thing could have been a typo couldn’t it?  But it’s very easy to correct though and he’d been on that website for a while, long enough to notice any anomalies in his particulars (not a euphemism!) so all I’m left to assume is that he has issues with his height justifying his need to be ‘creative’ on his profile.

It also annoys me because it just so BLOODY OBVIOUS!  Does he think he lives in his own universe where the laws of physics are different to the rest of the planet.

Maybe he measured his height with one of those tape measures you get in those cheap, crappy Christmas crackers, he must be THRILLED if he’s using it to measure other bodily aspects!

The text thing, well he could have been in a hurry couldn’t he and just not thought about the impact of my not getting the message in time?  But do I want to go out with a Text-worth (like a Jobsworth – someone who only does their thing with no regard for the wider effect or implication).  Justifications aside, it just smacks of lack of consideration.

The thing is, none of these things would have mattered if we’d got on like the proverbial house on fire.  When we meet people to whom we are attracted to without rhyme nor reason, then height, car, income and all the rest of it, simply doesn’t matter.

I was making excuses to use as reasons not to meet him again simply because (as the title of the brilliant book states) I was “just not that into him” and that, as they say, is that!




*Cockney rhyming slang for ‘lie’!